Looking at Her I felt that she is not a body, but just light. She seemed to see through me with all my shortcomings. All night I prayed to Her: Take possession of me completely, don’t let a particle of me remain.”
Death Must Die gives an intimate first-hand account of a courageous woman’s spiritual quest in close association with several of India’s greatest modern saints. Unfolding against the back-drop of Banaras in the 194os, where she lived as a teacher and musician, we are given an in-depth picture of her intense relationship with the extraordinary woman who becomes her guru – Sri Anandamayee Ma.
Atmananda, as she came to be known, was also closely associated with J. Krishnamurti, and a unique picture is given of him here in comparison with his peers and contemporaries within India. In her almost obsessive desire to “understand” J.K., as she calls him, she was driven ever deeper into the heart of Indian spirituality, encountering Sri Ramana Maharshi, as well as other outstanding Indian sages, before ultimately coming to the feet of Anandamayee Ma.
In particular, this book gives a true darshan (an experience of the presence) of Anandamayee Ma and the unique way in which she guided people to self-illumination.
Ram Alexander was a close friend of Atmananda as well as a fellow disciple of Anandamayee Ma, with whom he stayed in India for 10 years.
Foreword
It is a matter of great pleasure that this new edition of Death Must Die is coming out. It is very interesting to know of Ma’s teachings as recorded by Atmanandaji. She stayed closely by Ma for many years (almost 4o) and has written with an open mind of her relationship with Ma and of her life in the ashram.
Atmananda accepted Ma as her Guru. Ma’s teachings are all embracing and she would respond to each individual according to his or her unique disposition and character. In this context, when someone would ask Ma if they could accept her as Guru, Ma would reply: “I am whatever you think.” Ma performed this role of Guru, and even Ishta, for her devotees in order to lead them on the path of perfection. In Atmananda’s relationship with Ma as Guru, Ma was the Absolute in which all faiths and beliefs, all dualism and non-dualism – everything was included: One Purna Akhanda Whole where even the minutest part cannot be excluded.
During my stay in Dehradun I found Atmananda always busy translating Ma’s words. In this she was extremely sincere, minutely trying to understand the subtle meaning of each word. She would scrupulously ask various Bengali devotees about this to ensure that her translations were as accurate as possible. She would persevere in this work, often under trying and adverse conditions, always doing it in a spirit of true dedication and humility.
Ma had asked Atmananda to maintain a diary for her introspection, and she thought that it could be of great value for sadhakas (spiritual aspirants) in the future. I hope that spiritual seekers will derive great benefit from going through this book.
Preface
I am happy to give this brief preface to this account of the spiritual journey of a western seeker in India, the ancient land of spirituality and God – realisation. I personally knew Atmananda and had seen her in the divine company of worshipful Shree Shree Anandamayee Ma. The account of inner questing of a sincere aspiring soul is always a source of inspiration and encouragement to all others who are upon the path to liberation. It also provides many valuable insights and some practical guidance in the life spiritual. As such, this present publication is sure to serve as a helpful reference book and companion upon this onward and upward ascent that culminates at the pinnacle point of spiritual perfection and enlightenment.
Sri Ram Alexander is doing a very valuable service to the world of seekers. I wish this publication all success and wide circulation.
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